Real Men Love Their Little Ones
Primitive people did not usually recognize the fathers of their children. Mating is instinctual, but the subsequent appearance of children was not generally understood. It was thought that a spirit or ghost entered the woman and initiated pregnancy. The sex act was thought maybe to open the way for the spirit to enter. In these primitive societies the children belonged to the mother, while her brothers were the recognized men of blood association.
When human societies passed from hunting to herding, men’s control of the food supply established the father-family and the mother-family came to a speedy end. The mother-family was natural and founded upon women’s maternal instinct. The father-family was social, economic, and political.
There are few occasions that illustrate the differences between men and women more than their reaction to a newborn baby. Women are drawn by the total and utter dependence of the baby in the moment. Men are drawn to what the baby will one day become. Men do not have a paternal instinct to match that of the maternal instinct of a woman. Instead, they have a weaker parental instinct, at least in potential. Just as children themselves, a man’s parental instinct must be nurtured and allowed time to grow. Fatherhood is much more a conscious choice than it is a natural response. Even after the choice is made, the challenges of fatherhood mount and multiply as time goes on, requiring him to keep his choice in the forefront of his mind.
The failure of modern societies to formalize parental education of prospective parents does not diminish the importance of their respective roles in the lives of their children. Children require protection, direction, and inspiration. They naturally look to their parents for their provision. Responsible parents must take the lead and not passively leave the education of their children to church or state.
Much foolishness has been promulgated by the silly notion of the wisdom of children. The acquirement of wisdom comes only with experience and children are defined by the limitations of their experience. The dangers facing children growing up today may be different than in past ages, but they are no less potentially fatal in their consequences. A father would never allow his young children to go downtown to wander alone, yet may leave them free to wander unrestrained on the internet. The most important things that children learn are, and ever will be, learned in the home, or perhaps not at all. If they don’t learn from their parents that drugs are not a legitimate means of recreation, then that is no less than tacit approval that they should experiment and find this out for themselves.